[Writing Process post]
Answers in blue.
Scene Examination
Scene One
Establish genre in first 50 words?
Death was first established, so it looks like a tragedy. The first paragraph is 52 words. The jewel is mentioned, which may be an indicator of Fantasy. ✅
Number of NEW names reader must keep up with (characters, places, objects, etc)?
It's revealed that there's a Birth Place, a village of Golds, and a village of Browns.
QUESTION -- Does it seem like I have successfully examined the scene, and the scene is well-written? What might you ask or change?
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- Jaildarn
- Luthais
- Molingor
- Belp
It's revealed that there's a Birth Place, a village of Golds, and a village of Browns.
What is the active and tangible goal of the scene?
The story opens with Belp contemplating how mass death started. He flashes back to the day he met Jaildarn. His goal seems to be about connecting those dots.
Which primal urge/s is in that goal--
- survival -- definitely
- hunger -- maybe?
- sex -- no
- protection of a loved one -- maybe?
- fear of death -- probably
Goal clearly stated in one sentence at the beginning of the scene?
How did we get to such death? It's clear that Belp is trying to figure out what happened.
Does this scene show the goal by any of these methods:
- Thought about by a character
- Talked about by a character
- Demonstrated by two or more attempts of a character
Thoughts.
Key dramatic question that will take whole story to answer:
Could Belp have prevented all this death, how, and if so-- why didn't he?
And what led Jaildarn to become the cause of such annihilation?
How is that dramatic question used in this scene?
We learn about the protagonist and antagonist's first meeting. It's obvious that Belp is given love and is valued, while Jaildarn has been raised under opposite circumstances.
What action in this scene would someone want to watch:
A "cringy" opening featuring a character surrounded by death could draw someone in with curiosity about what happened.
Someone might enjoy seeing a young boy save another young boy while no one else does anything—a heroic-seeming moment.
Is the opening of this scene interesting?
I think so.
Real danger pointed at MC or character MC wants to help:
Belp sees that Jaildarn is in real danger of freezing to death, and wants to help him.
Internal obstacles include worry, fear, or a lack of knowledge, while examples of external obstacles include people or terrain.
Four or more obstacles in this scene (both internal and external) requiring ingenuity to solve:
1. lack of knowledge about the reason for so much death
2. cold weather
3. potential repercussions from the Purples if rules, laws, or customs are broken
4. the spiritual leader doesn't have enough information
What is the emotional friction between characters who are together?
Belp believes an elder should step-up. His spiritual leader suggests that Belp should take the initiative. The gold leader is too indifferent to stop Belp. Jaildarn seems helpless.
Belp is frustrated.
What’s the emotional conflict within the POV character?
Belp's desire to help versus a desire to not get in trouble.
Inner conflict should be a choice the MC would never make if given half a chance.
Give each choice external stakes. That means a physical or shared consequence that affects other characters and the story.
Give each choice internal stakes. That means a personal, emotional consequence that only that character will experience.
For each choice, tie the internal and external together. The external might simply be a symbol for the internal, or the internal might simply be an outcome of the external.
Don’t reassure the character (or the reader) that MC will make the right choice.
Make it unclear what the right choice even IS.
Have the MC make mistakes sometimes.
Belp is a good boy. He wouldn't cause trouble, normally. If he doesn't help Jaildarn, the boy will likely die. If he does help, he might be breaking a rule he hasn't learned yet. Helping could have consequences Belp hasn't considered, which may be why no one else has acted. And now the Purple has shown up.
Did the character:
- Hit an emotional breaking point
- Feel emotional pressure
- Have a loss of or near loss of self-control
Upon learning that Jaildarn isn't cared for, and is treated as a punishment, Belp decides no one will help. More responsible elders go by and do nothing. Belp losses self-control, gets proper clothing supplies, forces them on Jaildarn, and speaks disrespectfully to a Gold elder.
What frustrated the MC?
Belp is frustrated by others' inaction.
How was that frustration responded to?
After discussing it with his spiritual leader, Belp finally acts.
Was at least one of these in the scene
- Anger
- Hurt
- Resignation
- Bitterness
- Fear
- Self-blame
- Blame others
- Sadness/ crying
- Revenge seeking
- Tenderness
- Passion
- Despair
- Determination
- Venting
- Depression
- Prayer/ wishing
Belp is angry and hurt that no one else seems to care. He resigns himself to help. He fears for Jaildarn. He shows determination to save Jaildarn. There is fear when the Purple appears.
What has the character learned or realized because of this scene?
Belp has learned that the Golds have very different values from the Browns.
Was any other conflict discovered during this scene?
We learn the Golds do not allow the Reds, the spiritual leaders, among them.
We know that, eventually, there is an annihilation, but we do not know why.
Was there a power struggle in the scene?
Belp stands up to the elder Gold.
The Purple addresses Belp.
Any small choices that foreshadow a larger choice a character will make later?
We see Belp is willing to act when others are not.
We know the Gold leader does not want Jaildarn to return.
The number of sensory details:
- Touch -- 2
- Taste -- 3
- Hear -- 2
- Smell -- 3
- Visual -- 5
(My counts may be off.)
This scene contributes to the book by: (one or more of the following)
- enrich character
- provide necessary info
- move the plot forward
We're learning about the characters and their society. The plot is being established.
Events here cause what subsequent events to happen:
We expect to learn what consequences Belp's actions have, and how helping Jaildarn relates to the deaths at the opening.
Events here have what consequences that carry over into the following scene:
Readers might question how Belp, just a boy himself, expects to be responsible for Jaildarn's care.
And what will the Purple say or do to Belp?
Events required for MC to achieve end goal:
Belp has to figure out how all the deaths happened, if he could have prevented it, and what he can do about it now.
Does the scene end with someone or something being different from when it started?
- New information
- Conflict in moral values altered
- Another choice
- New character added
- Problem more complicated
- Course of action is more hopeless
- Other:
Jaildarn is different at the end because Belp has probably saved his life.
As it is the opening scene, all information is new.
The moral values conflict was following (known) rules versus acting when others failed to do so.
A complication to the problem is when a Purple appears.
QUESTION -- Does it seem like I have successfully examined the scene, and the scene is well-written? What might you ask or change?
My A to Z 2025 theme is a fantasy story. (And some of the process of writing it as well.) 🕮
- J (he/him 👨🏽 or 🧑🏽 they/them) ~ Speculative Fiction & Reference Author and Co-host of the April Blogging #AtoZchallenge
https://bsky.app/profile/jlennidorner.bsky.social My current favorite social media site.
https://amzn.to/41QBB4P Author page on Amazon — please consider following and supporting this indie author!https://www.bookbub.com/authors/j-lenni-dorner BookBub author profile— I'd be grateful if you'd follow me.
#AtoZChallenge a-to-zchallenge.com Kindly check out the blog hop's website. Last day to sign up for this year!!!
