Tuesday, August 15, 2023

Flash Fiction Excerpt #WEP #WEPFF #CHOCOLAT #chocolate #wolf 🍫🐺

#WEP August Challenge #CHOCOLAT 

I'm using another excerpt from my high-fantasy story that uses the roleplaying characters Xavier and Wend play in my Existence book series.

Some of you may recall my excerpt in WEP's June post. https://jlennidorner.blogspot.com/2023/06/close-encounters-prompt-wep-wepff.html There's background information there. I'll copy the size chart here as a quick reminder. 
Great Wolf size @JLenniDorner

A great wolf is huge, as you can see. 
This excerpt has the trio at the end of Day 1 of the journey. From dinner to foreshadowing, this is 838 words and Full Critiques are most welcome!
Tagline: Elves trade with chocolate, but that's poison to wolves. 

*Note= Please do not feed chocolate or caffeinated products to canines! 🐶🐕🐺

#WEPFF Chocolat Aug 2023

By J Lenni Dorner

"How are we supposed to have dinner?"


The great wolf leaped into the air, landed on a branch, and leaped again. There was a snapping sound and a crunch, and then he was back on the ground with something dangling from his mouth. He dropped it on a flat rock. "Fangscrideptor. Dig in."


Candra's face turned as green as the fangscrideptor's body. "I am an elf from the people of the Isle. I cannot eat that! I don't even know what that is! And poor Phin Fynn can't eat it, either."


"Why can't I? I've had their young before. It was yummy."


"How did you get to taste their young?" Monoghan asked.


"You ate children!" Candra's mouth fell open and her posture turned stiff.


Phin Fynn toed the ground. "Someone didn't want them, I guess."


"Maybe because they found out what they were," Candra said.


"The young are a delicacy in certain areas. Most of them don't survive childhood, so they may as well be eaten. Do you two want to split that one?"


"I am not eating another living being! And neither are you two."


"Candra, I'm a wolf. I eat smaller prey. Sometimes I even eat larger prey."


"You are also a man. Be civilized."


Monoghan shook his head. "I am a wolf first and foremost. I was born a wolf, I was raised a wolf, and I eat like a wolf."


"Well, I am an elf and a lady. I will not eat that poor creature. And neither will Phin Fynn."


Monoghan shook his muzzle. "I wouldn't be so sure."


Phin Fynn looked up and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. The frog-like head of the fangscrideptor was already devoured, as were the six boneless rear and middle legs. "Did you want the tail and the front paws and legs? They're both covered in fur. I don't eat fur."


Candra spun around and braced herself against a tree. "I'm going to be ill."


"So I'll have to feed you twice as much?" Monoghan inquired before leaping into the air to catch another fangscrideptor. He tore off the head, spit out the fangs, and then offered it to the boy, who took it gladly.


"You two are monsters."


"No, we're just higher up the food chain and proud of it." Monoghan chewed off the cat-like tail. "These creatures eat birds, which Isle elves practically worship and think of as family. And they'd eat your baby elves growing on trees if they ever made it to the Isles. Monsters like me are keeping your people alive." He bit off the front cat-like legs, chewed, and muttered, "You're welcome," with his mouth full.


"There has to be fruit somewhere!" Candra stormed off.


Monoghan shook his head. "I've seen her kind eat worse than this. She's from one of those high-up families," he said to Phin Fynn. "Here, have the boneless legs."


"Thanks! Those are the best part."


"Not for me," Monoghan's paw snatched the tail and two furry front legs the boy had left uneaten from the first catch. "I prefer these. Stay here and eat, I'm going after her before she becomes dinner." Monoghan rubbed his head along Phin Fynn's back and marked a nearby tree before running off.

He found her trapped in a pink thorny bramble bush.

"You know, there are better ways to have your dress ripped off."

"I thought there would be berries. Pink means the bush is ready for harvest." One of her sleeve embellishments ripped off, lost to the thorns. 

"Something every forest creature knows. The bush was plucked clean before midday. Hold still, I'll get you out." He snapped at the bramble, careful not to damage the plant while freeing the elf. 

Candra examined her ruined dress. Her chin quivered. "I am not equipped for this journey. My place is in civilized towns practicing diplomacy and translating scrolls."

Monoghan nuzzled her. "We need to get back to the pup. Climb on."

They returned to find Phin Fynn curled up on the forest floor using a rock for a pillow, a smile on his sleeping face. 

"I imagine a full tummy was helpful in getting him to nod off peacefully. That would be nice." Candra sat beside the child.

"You didn't bring any rations?"

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pouch. "I brought these. We call it chocolate. These pods grow and are opened, then beans are taken out and roasted, and then they grind and mix and, well, I don't know the whole process. But it is sweet and difficult to come by, so they make for a valuable trade."

"I know what chocolate is. One of my cousins died from that poison."

Candra put the treat away. "Sorry. It isn't poison to elves or humans. I wouldn't use it to harm you."

He laughed. "My dear elf, nothing you or the pup there could ever do would harm me. At most, your pack of chocolate would be a mild irritant, no worse than a bug bite."

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  1. I enjoy reading your excerpts, and I'm looking forward to your next release. I didn't think I'd use WEP prompts in my writing, but this year it just fits. Helps to keep me going. It's been such an odd year for writing. Love wolves, well, most of the time. They too strive to survive.

  2. Hey JLenni. I was delighted to see your comment on Yolanda's post, where WEP has kept you writing. This is a great excerpt and the introduction to chocolat was very apt. Hope they liked it!

  3. Thank you - and all the other WEP contributors. This has been/is a difficult year and I am glad to have different things to feed my brain.

  4. Hi, I truly enjoyed reading your submission. The dialogue is written very well. The interaction between the wolf and Sandra and Phin came across as believable. An excellent excerpt, All the best. Shalom shalom

  5. Great dialogue. I liked how you weaved in the chocolate theme at the end. It was very believable. Looking forward to reading more.

  6. Hi JLenni - this was fascinating to read and see how they coped with their different food sources. Definitely do not feed chocolate to animals, especially dogs or wolves - don't waste it. Cheers Hilary

    1. Congratulations Jamie on your runner-up WEP award - cheers Hilary

  7. Love the characters! They have such strong personalities, and their interactions are great fun to read about!

  8. Nice! An intriguing excerpt with philosophy, cultural norms, and adventure all in the mix!

  9. I heard that dogs can't eat chocolate. Poor dogs. I can't eat much chocolate either - I'm allergic to it - but I love it, so I allow myself an indulgence once in a while.

  10. Awww... that last bit was adorable. I really enjoyed this, JLenni.

  11. Lol, strange to think chocolate as a poison. These are cool characters.

  12. Carole Stolz: Great take on the prompt Lenni. Fascinating conversation! Reminds me of a conversation I once heard “I’m a carnivore. It is so unfair to pluck poor defenceless fruit from trees. I only eat food that can run away!” Here you demonstrate succinctly major differences between animals, with no judgement. Great read.

  13. I love these characters. Candra has pockets?!? POCKETS!!! Well now I'm jealous of the elf. The child loving the food of the wild was awesome. I liked Candra trying to explain how chocolate is made.

  14. A dark tale that somehow pits elves against wolves. Is the reader supposed to trust Candra? I'm not sure I do! Well told with suspense.

  15. I like your excerpt and the smooth use of the WEP prompts. This was dark and fun and a great take on the prompt. Hope Candra finds something substantial, though the chocolate will keep her from starving. Sensible to carry a pouch of that!

  16. Definitely not a good time and place to be a Fangdescriptor!
    This was a fun read.

  17. I loved the name Fangdescriptor. Quite a tongue twister! :)
    It was a fun story, Lenni. :)

  18. What a lovely imagination you have. I thoroughly appreciated the arguments between the vegetarians and the meat eaters. Great dialogue, lots of tension - I couldn't stop reading.

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  20. Your blog post is a testament to your storytelling prowess, and I'm eager to read more from you in the future. Keep up the fantastic work! frugalishness offering more discounts on various brands.

  21. "The storytelling on this blog is so immersive that I often lose myself in the narrative. It's like going on an adventure without leaving my chair."

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